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8 Precious Gifts to Leave Loved Ones After Your Funeral Service
The death of a loved one is difficult for many reasons. One is the finality of it, of course. This person who played such an important role in your life is no longer here. While many people trust that they will be reconnected with departed loved ones when their own time arrives, at least in the near term, there is the feeling of being completely cut off from a lost friend or family member's love and support.
But there are things you can do before you pass away that can help take some of the sting out of losing you for surviving loved ones. Some creative and thoughtful people take steps to stay connected, to a degree, even after they’re gone. These gestures—whether large or small—can make a tremendous difference to the spouses, children, relatives, and others who mourn you.
How to Show You Care Even After Your Funeral Service
There are several things you can do to demonstrate your love for friends and family members after you have passed away. Some involve an “accomplice” like a friend or a local business that is willing to assist you. Other things you can do on your own. But either way, these eight actions can be incredibly meaningful to your loved ones.
- Send letters or cards. Imagine your friend or family member’s surprise and joy when they go to the mailbox and find a note from you after you have died. You will need assistance from someone you can trust to mail the letter or card according to your plan and who will keep the plan secret. But whether it is a letter of support or a card to celebrate a birthday, anniversary, or another special occasion, it is a very meaningful gesture that shows you were thinking of them even as the thought of your own passing surely was weighing on you.
- Set money aside for a vacation. From learning of your passing, to attending the funeral ceremony, to handling any financial or legal affairs, there is a great deal of stress when a loved one dies. It is unavoidable. What better way to help someone recover after such a stressful time than encouraging them to take a vacation using money you have set aside for them? You can even jot some notes for them to open on their trip in which you wish them well and comfort them by pointing out that you are both “in a better place” as they read your letter.
- Have flowers sent on special occasions. Flowers are a great way to brighten someone’s day. And when—with the help of your local florist—they are delivered after you have passed, their effect is even greater. The beautiful blooms can commemorate an anniversary, birthday, or another event, or simply serve as a way of saying, “I was thinking of you before I passed, as always.”
- Make or purchase a special memento. Having something like a piece of jewelry delivered to a loved one after your passing is a great way to offer comfort from beyond the grave. That is particularly true if it has something unique to you. You might have a piece of so-called “memorial jewelry” made—your fingerprint on a pendant or a locket with a tiny photo inside of you at your happiest, for example. This type of keepsake is always appreciated and treasured more with each passing year.
- Create a “life lessons” journal. One of the things people miss about not being able to talk with a deceased loved one is the advice they used to give during challenging times. Jotting down some thoughts and reflections on your own difficulties and how you got through them can be very helpful and reassuring to your friends and family members.
- Make a donation to a charity. If your family member has always supported a particular charity, make a posthumous donation to that organization. Doing so not only helps the organization, but it also will make your loved one smile and feel a sense of pride that their commitment to helping others inspired you to do the same.
- Shoot a short video. Seeing your face on screen and hearing your voice is the closest thing to being with you. Whether you are offering inspiration, thanking your family and friends for their love and support, or saying something you know will make them smile and laugh, your video will be watched again and again.
- Pay for your funeral ceremony in advance. By making arrangements for covering the cost, you will ensure that your family members do not have to be thinking about how to pay for funeral services when they should be working through their grief and celebrating your life.
Be Sure to Keep Your Audience in Mind
As you think about the gift you want to give your loved one after your passing, it is important to keep the recipients in mind. For an older loved one, a thoughtful card or letter might be more appropriate, as they can pull it out and read it whenever they want to reminisce about their time with you. Younger family members who are more “tech-savvy” may prefer a video that they can access from their mobile device whenever they want to see and hear you.
Whatever you choose to do, your gift will be most appreciated and helpful if it is an accurate reflection of who you are and also positive and uplifting. It may not be easy to be upbeat while also facing your mortality, but if you can find it in yourself to be encouraging, the time and effort you invest in your gift will pay dividends long after you have passed.
Helpful Funeral Service Pre-Planning Resources
If making funeral arrangements and/or prepayments is part of what you will be leaving to your family, there are helpful resources on the Greenwood & Myers Mortuary website. These include a page on the Funeral Pre-Arrangement Process , as well as information on a wide variety of topics on our Articles page.
And, if you or your family members ever have questions about Greenwood & Myers Mortuary, the services we offer, or funeral costs, we are happy to answer them. Please contact us at your convenience.
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